laura's data entry gossip newsletter
Special Convention Issue Volume 3, Number 4
I know the convention is over but it starts again next week so it technically is sort of still happening, since the break is only a week, at least in the mind of this patriotic American. Campaing trail, convention, it's all one big party for me.
Plus I'm going to be in NY next week and for the first time in years will not be totally wired so it might be sort of hard to file reports. But I'm gonna try. But for just in case low tech wins, here's a mid week issue for any of readers with convention withdrawal sickness.
(Plus i saw Escape From LA starring Snake Pilskin and it is exactly what they were going on and on about during last weeks convention so i thought you might want to go see it if you missed the speeches. Because it's like this republican wet dream of inclusion all gone kind of messed up.)
The evangelical president's slutty daughter who also happens to be Angela's best friend with the crazy hair that stole Jordan Catalano from MSCL (See LDEGNL Volume 1, Various issues for details) is sort of trying to save the world but because of evil vr she gets involved with a bad Cuban man that looks sort of like Che Guevara and steals the special black box while wearing a fake chanel suit.
She takes it to Isle of Inclusion, which is a chunk of LA that fell off in the big 9.6 quake (you get to see the Bonaventure collapse!) which is where all non christian non white people get shipped. There is a giant wall hand built by Pat Buchanan that goes from Malibu thru the valley to southern orange county that keeps the white christian people out of the San Fernando Sea, so there's sort of like 2 sets of Included people.
All the girls in LA are sluts and the boys all carry guns. The battle cry to blow up the world is viva la raza! Peter Fonda and Steve Buscemi live there. The queen mary is there except in downtown LA and they all fly around like flying monkeys. A lot of people run around and shoot eachother, its a permanent pro choice/pro life demonstration.
Then Bob and Liddy Dole fly in on a beautiful white horse when all the illegal immigrants are killing eachother in Disneyland which has a different name so as to appease the intellectual property police, and they start singing old war hymns and everyone feels included and they all hold hands and the blind people get free guide dogs and the giant tax cutter poster boy, the skinhead with the garden shears that used to cut off peoples heads, cuts taxes and they all buy property and rebuild LA and kill everyone in cuba.
Hopefully they will show this on the giant video wall with Independance Day at the Democratic convention, since they won't have a Regan film, and they could use home video from Bill and Tippers' bbq bday fest for commercials.
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