Coverage Day Nine (Olympic Day 13) | |
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I feel very lucky and honored to have received some guest olympic reports. Unfortunately, I deleted some important facts collected by Debra on exactly how much time cbs spends on actual sports events per broadcast (it was a very small number, that i can assure you of) in a fit of terror when Tara Lipinski showed up on my tv looking like a gnarled, scarey jumping dwarf in swiss miss spangles. After the initial shock, which i fear i can never get fully used to and that i am sure will happen again, I recovered enough not to delete the other guest report written by correspondant Rev. Dr. Joel "nano" Warner. Which I think all of my readers will love because he was watching small dogs instead of the olympics, a far more soothing and happy thing with no sparkly milkmaid dresses involved, which even Oprah, Sophie and Solomon and the 19 golden retrievers and their dog nannies back on the ranch would approve of. From: "Rev. Dr. Joel \"Nano\" Warner" nano@burdentech.com Well I went to watch the Olympic coverage on t.v. the other night to get warmed up for my report and got distracted by the Westminster Toy dog breed competition. Toy pooches of all shapes and sizes tested thier mettle at the grandest of all competitions in the canine world. All the tail grabbing by the judges and tooth inspections made me a little nervous but the champions took it all in stride. My favorite was the Brussels griffin a dog that looks like it could curl with the best of the Olympians and not even need a broom as its chin is covered with the most brisky of whiskers. The crowd particularly liked the Charles English toy Spaniel, named Fair oaks Face the Music. He was shown by Ms. Candice walker who has been handling for 12 years. The breed is named after Prince Charles who is fond of the breed. These dogs were all as they say, "Objects of art and first rate companion animals". I am not sure but I think John Madden somehow got sent to the wrong sporting event and ended up covering the trials for some unknown reason, at least it sounded like him. All right, so for the coverage that everyone is most curious about, no not the guy who fires up before the snowboard comp., come on bud this is not the bong Olympics. Womens Hockey! Way to go USA Hockey babes. This reporter must admit that there is nothing he finds more exciting than a woman that can body-check. I'll take a tough, beer drinking, Hockey playing woman over a boring speed skater any day. The first year for womens hockey in the Olympics and the USA takes the Gold 3-1 over Canada. This was no small accomplishment for these women as there are no professional womens hockey teams in the US and only Minnesota sanctions high school hockey as a girls varsity sport. Goalie Sarah Tueting postponed work on her neurobiology degree at Dartmouth for two years to play and Forward Gretchen Ulion resigned from a teaching position. Other team members had to do likewise. These are the kind of moments that make the Olympics worth watching. For the Fashion conscious, the fashion in womens hockey is the best! No tight spandex or girdles just big oversized jerseys and shorts that give you room to swing your arms and legs. Who needs padded bras when you can have gigantic shoulder, elbow and knee pads. That's right just when you got rid of your shoulder pads they are back, only bigger! When putting together you favorite padded ensemble don't forget to pick out that special number for the sleeve, odd numbers work best with any outfit. "nano"
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