Coverage Day Seven (Olympic Day 11) | |
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The olympics are making me sad. Maybe not so much the olympics, or cbs stories about the lame guy trying to eat exotic blowfish delicacies in a classy nagano restaurant, but i guess it's all the snide coverage that i'm reading and hearing. And i am thinking, what is it that lets the olympics get so trashed? CBS? Dave's mom? SF Chronicle reporters? Skating? I think the answer can be found a few channels away, with her majesty, high priestess of kindler and gentler tv, Oprah. If Oprah was in charge of the olympics, the angel network would swoop down and make everyone a winner. Even the losers without medals would feel better about themselves, because she would make sure that they had a surprise gift waiting for them under their seat on the plane ride home. The whole plane would get one! Oprah can have this kind of attitude because she has a gratitude journal. And i think that's what would fix up the olympics, which just keep spinning into a state of being more and more screwed up. The Olympic Gratitude Journal. Since i don't think Oprah was able to recommend that this year, being stuck in Amarillo and all, i am going to be one of her angels and start one. (Not that Oprah has done nothing for Olympic moral, she got major corporations, ones that you would recognize because of their prime time cbs commercials, to send family members of olympians too poor to be able to fly their entire families over and keep them in hotels, minivans and sushi, and even the president of the Todd Eldridge fan club got a plane ticket and a souvenir jacket. Thanks Oprah!) OK, so here it is, todays Olympic Gratitude Journal:
OK, that's enough because Oprah says we only need five things per day. Now, some people think that because Oprah is a multigazillionaire with dog nannies and chefs and a personal trainer and her own plane, you have to take the gratitude thing with a grain of salt. But i believe (as an acting angel network member) that Oprah would counter with the fact that she wouldn't have had all those things without a gratitude journal and besides, money doens't matter as long as you are grateful. And as long as you can accessorize. And Oprah would be the first to admit that she isn't perfect. She knows she has her interviewing flaws. Just yesterday, when she hosted those wacky fresh faced young Gus Van Zant drool boys Hanson, she showed her limits of patience and niceness when she got into an "I know you are but what am I" war with the little psychotic one. Celebrity wedding coordinators, they weren't, but she bravely perservered and let some young girls come out of the studio audience and hug them. I'm sure her gratitude journal yesterday (adjusted for tape delay) listed celebrity wedding coordinators and cab drivers who saved pregnant women from certain death. So let me be the first, starting with today's olympic coverage, to start on the happy and nice olympic coverage and see if we can make the world a happier and nicer place through global sports! :-) :-)
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